am i matter?

This is what people seeking in their everyday life.

This is what people hope they have.

This is what i think i have to achieve.

Am i matter to you?

Is my thoughts important to you?

Do i make changes in your life?

Do people care about what i feel?

Or they just having too much fun using me as a getaway.

Or they pretend they care, so they feel better.

Or they keep on whining and whining without once asking me about how I feel? How i do?

Friends is overrated.

it's not by the book.

I think everybody is like a book. Like a novel, there's a main character, conflict, climax, and everything you see in a novel. 
Sometimes the character is so bold, you could've guess the storyline from the very first page. 
Sometime, the character so blur, you have to read the whole book to get it.
Sometime, you simply get it. You don't have to read the book, cause you see yourself in it.




So i know this one person who know me, get the idea of my book. This person might not be know every trivial detail about me. But this person could've guess, and will be right. Cause this person gets it. The whole package. The whole deal.


There's another one. This person willing to read me, page per page. This person read it, literally, and believe it. That this is the idea of me, because this novel said so. So this must be it. 


The thing is, people change. Every minute, every day, there's a little bit change we're going through. One day i love blue, the next day red looks more cute. The little things, the little things that make a huge change in a daily basis. I know sometimes it's nice when someone notices your secret expression, your favorite coffee, your type of shoes. It is nice. But it changes, so never say something like, " Ah, this is your favorite shoes. Because you said so. I remember." Noo, come on. It changes.


When you get the idea of someone, the way they think, the way they see the world, the way they reacted to something, the way they see themself. It's great. Because the shoe thing doesn't really matter anymore. you know the person, so it doesn't matter, wheter you know their favorite color, or their favorite music. No matter, it's the getting about their mind that matter much. to me, at least.


So when this person gets me, and the way i think about myself, i feel so damn good. Like someone finally make sense of what i am. What i think about. And i have to thank God i have this person as my best bud, so he continually reminds me, that  people can make sense. 


That simple. People make sense, when you get to know them not memorize them.

up up up!

Get my days up!

So i'm making the wrong move, that's okay. Now, what will i do to make it right again? That's the challanging part. Everybody can wallow and cry, but the one who wipe the tears away with the new leaves is the one who will succeeded.

UP UP, TIME!!!!!!!

want my own kinda fairy tale..

early 20 crisis?

What i want?
What i need?
Where have i been?
Which way to choose?
What life i want?

These questions, mumbling around in my head. So tired of it, this messed me up. I dont know what i want, and how to be a better me. I feel like i'm making all the wrong choice, and the worst timing.

So a dear friend actually open my eyes the other day, i get it. But how come i don't know what i want? How come i'm stumbling around everywhere wthout really know exactly where i want to be? I need to get to know with myself. Really am.

A.S.A.P.

My tarot reading

Hasil pembacaan tarot online.
Biasanya gak percaya, tapi kok agak - agak tepat? Nahloh.




Card 1 (The Tower) : How you feel about yourself now »


You feel that the disruption and sweeping change you are going through, or fear you are about to go through, will be catastrophic. You need to recognise that such upheaval can force new directions that you never dreamed possible. Subconsciously you may have wanted change, but as is often the case, the solution isn't always as we expect. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.




Card 2 (The Devil) : What you most want at this moment »


The cards suggest that what you most want at this time you can't have, like the forbidden fruit, which makes it all the more tempting. Or you could go for it but you know that it would be a bad choice and for all the wrong reasons. Yes, you want passion and gratification - just be careful where you go looking for it.



Card 3 (The Hierophant) : Your fears »


Are you really your best counsel? Probably not at this moment in time. You are worried that you will sell yourself short and agree to something that you don't feel morally comfortable with. For example you may really desire marriage but the offer has been 'let's live together'. You may be looking at a job or business opportunity but you question how ethical it is. Seek out an advisor you can trust such as a teacher, priest, parent or anyone you have respect for. They will be happy to help.




Card 4 (The Lovers) : What is going for you »


New love and commitment will enter your life, even if there's no one on the horizon - be prepared for a surprise. Throw caution to the wind and expect joyous and happy times ahead.




Card 5 (Strength) : What is going against you »


Your negativity and lack of self control are your real enemies. If you are finding certain addictions in your life are taking a hold, be it smoking or drinking for example, look inward for you hearts true strength and self-belief. Change your attitude and be positive and you will reap great rewards.



Card 6 (Justice) : Outcome »


Justice will be done. Decisions will go in your favour, particularly regarding partnerships or legal matters. A time for some good luck and reward for your good deeds in the past.

all of a sudden

I wonder how you can change me the way you did?

What did you do?

my books, lovely books =))

i'm upset today.
dunno why, then i turned around and meet them.
Precious old books of mine, aah how i miss hunting them with my father..

So,i've decided i'm gonna start read them again and review them in my blog. hhe
Hope you'll be inspired to read them too, they're great. Takes you to dream land.
They say Pisces people love and dream about livin in the dream. I guess thats true, and that's come true when i read and dream to be in the far away land.

Ah, please, don't take me back to reality.

;)

love someone the way they are. seriously?

I always confused about this sentence.

Clearly the one that made this never fall in love. hha

See the point is when you had that butterfly in your gut, you know this person is the one ( for the moment ). We try this and that to looked like the one he / she wants from a boyfriend / gf. So it's the first change we make for them.

Then we got them, being a gf/bf never felt so good because you love them.

But again, the boredom waves kicks in. Yeah, it sucks. You have to change the way you play your game, the way you treat your lover. It's the second change we made.

Like my friend stated to me last night, " Im gonna change myself, so she still be with me at the end. Maybe it's about time i changed anyway." 

Wow, it's blinding you, seriously. You will find yourself changed after a while, you're not the old you. Love changes you, and thats not wrong, the sentence on the other hand, kinda wrong.

Hahahha

Just a piece of random thoughts.

communicate well.

Last night i have this little chat with my friend, we're talking about the importance of communicate well. From his point of view, he stated that no communication it's okay when you have the right tool to show them what do you want, in this case making communications tools. 

But i disagree.

The human touch is important. When we can touch somebody else's feeling, we GOT them. The problem is people too much arguing about wheter communication behaviour will vanished alongside the IT growth. To me, it'll never vanished, can you feel the warmth in your heart when you're having a chitchat with some stranger on the bus? It's great right? It's reminds you how great people are. How amazing this life takin every other people to their road.

So when someone said communication is not that important, tell them " Do you know eventhough you're quite, your gesture, your eyes, your whole body is communicating. 

We can not not communicate - Wilbur .S

eager. want. ambition. lust.

how u differentiate those 4 words? im clueless..

about wrong turn.

So when you know you're making a wrong turn? Of course it's when you turned and found that t's not the path you search.

So what will people say about people making wrong turn?

" Ah, you're just a quitter."

" Are you serious? Maybe you should stay longer"

" Quit."

Well in my opinion it's a common thing, you making the wrong turn, making the wrong choice, and that sort of things. What really matter is what will you do about it. Will you just stand still being regretful? Or you're going bold and turn around? People will say lots of things, they just have opinion for everything. What really matters is what you feel. Are you happy? If not, then what's the point? Go turn around find your new path. It's there.

When we're making the wrong turn, in that second we just know, that that path will no longer be a choice in your life. Period.