this particular feeling

I hope i can feel this kinda feeling again, finger crossed.

My Gadizsa said, "Don't be so narrow-minded there's someone for everyone "



When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

am not a commodity

Let's see what famous people said about friends:

"A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer."
- Amanda Grier

" Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you."
-Yassir Arafat

"if you haven't learned what friendship means then you haven't learned anything"
-muhamid alli

Yeah, you see their talking about how you need a friend to survive in your life. But not to commodify your friends. NEVER ever makes your friend think she's been used by you. It;s not cool, never ever will be cool.

This is a short post, too furious and disappointed.

i'm a mess, i am.

I'll say i'm ungrateful.
I beg for this, i said i'm ready for this, but then i failed.

I guess it's okay when you're failing, but not when it involved other people's feeling.
I hurt you, i know that. I want to want this, truly do.

But i don't know how, how?
How to want this, how to balance this ?

I'm a mess, i am.
I can't fake this, i can't.
I hate being mean, i am.

I'm good in being a friend, but turns out i'm bad handling people that care about me. God, how i hate when people starts caring too much about me. What's wrong with me? Isn't that suppose to be great to have someone care about you? I don't know.. It sure doesn't feel that way right now. I prefer to be left alone, i feel comfortable that way.

How can you be this stubborn, huh?
How can you be so sure about me?
How can you handle me?
You don't get me, but you're trying your best. I applaud you for that, cause i'll hate me if i'm you. I hate how i can be so careless when you need me. When i be so mean and cruel even after you're being too kind to me.

Are you sure you can fix me?
i AM a mess, i am.

To be a better me, she does.

This is yet another story of another precious person in my life.

Yep, it's another she.
She's been in my life not that long but long enough to let me learn a LOT from her.

I always think that i'm a rock. She let me know that being weak is human.
I tend to think i'm a failure. She brings out the best side of me.
I once stuck at my sadness. She cheer me out of the dark spot.

I can go on and on about her, but still won't picture her appropriately. She come to my life in my weakest point. She takes me to this new set of mind, set of goals, set of love.

From scratch to a masterpiece, i know she's able to do almost anything. I can say she's one of my role models, i see her as someone who knows wheres she's going, and how to achieve it.

Her ambition tend to let her down easily, but that is part of her charm. Her voice, her work habits, i have no other word but admiration. People say she's my best friend, i'd say she's my personal weed. And it's been an incredible year getting high with her.

So i'd say,
She's a rock
She's the rock that makes me this better person.
She's Dinda Sarasannisa. =)



Cause i'll say, "It's the story of our life that makes us human, tell your story"